From faking "normal'' to
embracing the authentic me
Passing as neurotypical
Hi, I'm Mary Pasciak, beach lover, ADHD and autism coach, proud mom, former investigative reporter, and recovering faker of "normal."
Most of my life, nobody would have suspected I was autistic or ADHD.
It wasn't until recently that I realized I had built accommodations into my life without knowing it:
📝 Choosing a career (in journalism) that was fueled by deadlines, so I had a steady flow of dopamine. (Here's a pic of me as a cub reporter.)
🏠 Living with a partner, so the demands of executive function were shared with another person.
✨ People-pleasing that ensured nobody would ever look too closely at all the things I was messing up.
My journey to living authentically
A few years ago, I left my job at the Buffalo News. And for a long time, I felt pretty lost.
I didn't want to jump into a career that I was only lukewarm about, so I gave myself permission to explore, to follow my curiosity instead of obligation.
Along the way, I had some adventures:
⛺ I lived in a covered wagon for a couple weeks. (Here's a pic from inside the wagon.)
🚂 Traveled cross-country by train.
🚪 Knocked on doors in a swing state.
✈️ Went to Nepal on my first solo international trip.
Got diagnosed with ADHD. And came to self-identify as autistic.
Suddenly, everything clicked. The chaos, the curiosity, the constant need for novelty, the need for time alone — it all made sense.
Putting all the pieces together
When I looked back on my life through an ADHD lens, things started to make a lot more sense, like my:
🛠️ Endless parade of unfinished projects
🚀 Eagerness to tackle seemingly impossible problems (and my strong aversion to anything boring)
🌀 Constant barrage of ideas
⏰ Skewed perception of time – in my mind, doing the dishes takes 2 hours and writing a term paper takes about 20 minutes
The more reading and podcast-listening I did about ADHD and neurodivergent issues, the more I started to recognize myself in articles and personal stories about autism, as well:
🌡️ Strong reactions to small changes in temperature, brightness, or volume (it's common in both ADHD and autism)
🎢 Larger-than-life emotional reactions (that's also common in ADHD and autism)
🧍 Need for a great deal of alone time
👽 Feeling exhausted after social interactions, wondering why I always felt so awkward and uncomfortable
How I transformed my life
Post-diagnosis and self-identification, I consumed everything I could about ADHD and autism — dozens of books, hundreds of podcast episodes, countless articles.
I started to understand why I struggled so much — and what changes I could make so I didn't have to struggle so much.
And gradually, things started to shift.
Some changes were practical: how I structured my days, my environment, my routines.
Others were deeper: how I talked to myself, what I gave myself permission to need, who I allowed into my life.
None of it happened overnight. But all of it mattered.
And that's what I help my clients figure out: what they need to change, and how to actually make it happen.
Ready to start your journey?
Maybe you're ADHD or autistic or AuDHD.
Maybe you've been formally diagnosed; maybe you self-identify; or maybe you're just starting to suspect you have a differently wired brain.
Whatever the case, if you're ready to create a life that actually works for you, let's talk.
Maybe you're ready to dive into coaching.
Maybe you're just curious about what support could look like.
Or maybe you just need 30 minutes with someone who truly gets it.
I'm here, for whatever will help you best.
Sometimes just knowing you're not alone makes all the difference.
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