Passing as neurotypical
Hi, I'm Mary Pasciak, ADHD and autism coach, proud mom, former investigative reporter, and recovering faker of "normal."
Most of my life, nobody would have suspected I had ADHD.
It wasn't until recently that I realized I had built accommodations into my life without knowing it:
📝 Choosing a career (in journalism) that was fueled by deadlines, so I had a steady flow of dopamine. (Here's a pic of me as a cub reporter.)
🏠 Living with a partner, so the demands of executive function were shared with another person.
✨ People-pleasing that ensured nobody would ever look too closely at all the things I was messing up.
My journey to living authentically
A few years ago, I left my job at the Buffalo News. And for a long time, I felt pretty lost.
I didn't want to jump into a career that I was only lukewarm about, so I gave myself permission to explore, to follow my curiosity instead of obligation.
Along the way, I had some adventures:
⛺ I lived in a covered wagon for a couple weeks. (Here's a pic from inside the wagon.)
🚂 Traveled cross-country by train.
🚪Knocked on doors in a swing state.
✈️ Went to Nepal on my first solo international trip.
And got diagnosed with ADHD.
Suddenly, everything clicked. The chaos, the curiosity, the constant need for novelty — it all made sense.
Putting all the pieces together
When I looked back on my life through an ADHD lens, things started to make a lot more sense, like my:
🛠️ Endless parade of unfinished projects
🎢 Larger-than-life emotional reactions (yes, that’s part of ADHD)
🚀 Eagerness to tackle seemingly impossible problems (and my strong aversion to anything boring)
🌡️ Strong reactions to small changes in temperature, brightness, or volume (yes, that’s part of ADHD, too)
🌀 Constant barrage of ideas
⏰ Skewed perception of time – in my mind, doing the dishes takes 2 hours and writing a term paper takes about 20 minutes
How I transformed my life
Post-diagnosis, I consumed everything I could about ADHD — dozens of books, hundreds of podcast episodes, countless articles.
I started to understand why I struggled so much — and what changes I could make so I didn't have to struggle so much.
And gradually, things started to shift.
Some changes were practical: how I structured my days, my environment, my routines.
Others were deeper: how I talked to myself, what I gave myself permission to need, who I allowed into my life.
None of it happened overnight. But all of it mattered.
And that's what I help my clients figure out: what they need to change, and how to actually make it happen.
Ready to start your journey?
Maybe you're ADHD or autistic or AuDHD.
Maybe you've been formally diagnosed; maybe you self-identify; or maybe you're just starting to suspect you have a differently wired brain.
Whatever the case, if you're ready to create a life that actually works for you, let's talk.
Maybe you're ready to dive into coaching.
Maybe you're just curious about what support could look like.
Or maybe you just need 30 minutes with someone who truly gets it.
I'm here, for whatever will help you best.
Sometimes just knowing you're not alone makes all the difference.
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